19/5/2014

it been a while, neeehhh~ it been a long time since i write at this blog, the last time i write is on the january month,

never thought that i still remember the password of this blog~ herm.... :3

well, it's been a while ..... story about my life, well......
like an ordinary people, my life is just any guy you saw on the routine daily life.....

well, i got a new bike, a really new one and it limited edition nowadays....
really happy own one, but still had monthly payment.....weeeehhhh~
but kinda sad it alway been damage several time but i always try to fix it beauty ...

about love?
what about it?
yet i still cant found that someone that attract my attention, i don't seek for perfection, 
but i haven't found it... really sad about it's  , to make me forget about it, i just hang out with my friend...
yee, that it,

but it's does hurt remembering about what happen in the past but it's time to move on....
forward is the option i had..... people came and go..... people stab you and move on....
it hurt but then what cant i  do ..... stab back.....? naeeh!? i don't do that , i don't want people to resemble me like him.....

it a crucial time for me, waiting for my result exam..... kinda scared.....actually .

dear, blogger, maybe people wont read it but, i kinda want to stop what i'm doing now and just set out free where i cant start a new life and dont had to be burden with this daily life....
how i wish i could but i can't right!?


well that it's for today....

XOxoxoxoXO

pray for all my family ,my friend, that know me or don't know me, wherever you are, i pray that you health and Everything you want to succeed will accomplish  .

AMEN :)

the beginning of january

hey there, been a long time since i open this blog again

i don't know why but i got a urge to open it today >_<

well it the month of the year again and the beginning of a month JANUARY

what do i want to write, well............

i gonna end my study this year......

getting really excited but also scared. 
WHY???

i don't think i'm ready to go to work yet

but soon or later i will have to faced it....

well i just have to think positive. Right!?

em....

yet after many time flew by me.... i haven't yet found that someone....

maybe i just not ready or just scared that mom would know and mad at me again like previous time...

forget about it...

someday it might happen, not today , not tomorrow nor maybe this year but someday i know it will

just live a happy life and think positive and pray for god for myself and all that know me and all people at world.... let's it be a happy and peace world for everyone.... YEAHHH WEWWW~~~

malam sebelum isnin

wahhhh!!!!

lamanya aku tidak tulis blog ne...... mcm berbulan-bulan sudah ne ahahha,

welll , lama tidak update pun sebab busy dengan kerja harian,masuk kolej,belajar, tiada masa mahu tulis di blog ni.... >_<

hari ini baru boleh relax laaa..... aha sebab bermula kelmarin start cuti sampai hujung bulan 6 ini ahah....
AWESOME!!!!

orang cuti,kami pigi kolej,orang pigi bljar, kami cuti, baru lah ngam timing kan =_=

sem ini aku sem tiga, sem depan aku sem 4 dah, syukur lah pointer aku pun okey sem 3 ini, dan tidak mengulang apa2 paper ahaha.....

apa mahu buat cuti ne, masih awal untuk persediaan sem depan , relax lah dulu santai2 dulu tenangkan dulu pikiran sebelum pikir pasal sem depan enjoy dulu ahhah

welll itu sahaja lah untuk hari ini kalau senng saya update lagi blog ne....

choW~~~

march preparation

ahahahaha

lamanya tidak tulis di blog ne,mahu dekat 2 bulan sudah kan ahaha,  well, sibuk sahaja kan, sekrang pun masih sibuk ni, minggu depan exam, well jumaat lepas sudah exam, and banyak yang perlu diperbaikikan, kalau tidak, result down plak nanty,

wish i could answer all question easilly, well need too study, lain kali lagi update blog ini, ehehe,

i kinda miss someone, neehhh~ it's nothing bye2.... >_<

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

cursemewithagoodlifeehehe

blog lalu, aku cakap aku akan tutup blog ni kan aha,
well , aku pun tidak tahu kenapa wujud lagi blog ni....
so that mean blog ini haruslah dituliskan kalau ia masih wujud
itu sahaja lah buat masa ini, tiada benda dalam pikiran mahu ditulis harini
aha, maybe later blog ehe

xoxoxoxnytexoxoxox

kedatangan 2013

well, inilah mungkin kali terakhir untuk blog ini berfungsi, selepas 1.1.2013 jam 12.00AM , aku akan tutp blog ini dan tidak akan membukanya lagi.

it time to move on and had a new life, azam baru? tidak tahulah. tidak terpikir pun . i think leave the bad habit i think.

2012, erm well it been hard time but most of it is bad hard time, but there alway a good time.

many memories and never unexpected memory to had.....

i'm blank tidak tahu apa mahu tulis dah..... well itu sahaja lah well. anyone that read it... enjoy reading and knowing my life.....

bye and  A HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013. GBU

hey..... em....

I don't know but.... I felt like missing something and I don't know what -_-

have too know that i felt empty in my brain and i my heart.....

i just cant figure it out..... i want to know .... but how?

is it about her? maybe argh.... i just dont know....

or it just in my mind..... well it does and it give a pain....

i need you maybe but i just cant right?
i want you by my side but i cant right?
i want too stay but you but cant?
everything is cant,cant,and cant......

please help me.....
GOD..... i need you help now.... tell me what i should do....
if she is the one for please give me a sign....
and if not..... tell me now and who should i be with....
i really want to know now..... please..... 

i'm really depreased now 

tell me now please..... i'm begging you....
end this pain huhuhu.... remove it .....

gudnite...... end 4 today~

All I'm asking for is one night together. Just you and me. All alone. And if you can honestly say you don't feel anything for me after that night, I will finally let you go.

You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes?

You wonder why I don't talk to you anymore and please believe me when I say it's not that I don't want to, it's just that everything I want to say I can't tell you anymore.

Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that you loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone.

tutup atau biarkan

dalam dilema sekarang ni mahu tutup kah atau biarkan dan teruskan sahaja blog ini,
kalau dia nampak segala apa yang aku tulis di blog ni, mesti kena marah aku lepas tuw memang ini kali tidak kena trgur suda sama dia dam.....!!!!

arghhhh apa patut aku buat....? huhuhuhu

tapi aku sayang bha mahu tutup blog ni , kira blog ni macam diari aku, tapi dismping itu ia juga kenangan lama yang kalau dia nampak memang akan merumitkan lagi cara perhubungan sama dia...

why....? keputusan ini susah betul, buat keptusan sebelum hujung tahun ni.....

that alll for today.......




nyte~~~~~~~~*

saturday and soon christmas

have fun with everyone in the youth Christmas  been arranged, and it been a long time seen i see you face really close , a long time you face of happy n_n.

and i got too send you home well you sister house .

it really make me happy.

at least before the event end, i got to take a picture with you well with all friend.

got to told to you, even if it just a simple asking conversation .

really wanT to told to you more but i just cant really hope hight , if i could . the courage not there.... yet 

em... ..... birthday, you birthday it gonna came soon ....

wanna wish you but i dont know if you will accept the wish....

as usual i'm really gonna go back being my old self , a shy person.....

really hope cant talk to you more , not like special person with each other conversation but maybe just a plain simple talk....

=to be continue next blog=

oxoxoxgoodnitexoxox

childhood fun than today

let's me think, okey i'm a little confused what i really want.....

what i really want is too have someone like you that understand my situation or maybe you dont but you try to, really.

i'm a jerk i just want too make up with you but i just cant, i do want to but i dont know how, and if i do get better with you, will it be worth it , when we just gonna be there for each other when we needed someone....

well i think it worth it.... i never thought of taking an advantages with you, i just want someone to talk to how i felt, how i feel, because believe me i had a rough time nowaday, and i needed someone like you.

there was a time that i try to replace you but then it dont felt the same, something not right, something that i cant really understand nor explain it with word, something that is you.......... it sound stupid, but it does, maybe we are not made for each other but we are made for talking with each other to felt the comfort, it feel like the comfort of a best friend , maybe it more too that buT i cant really understand it, it not love, i know it not.....

the thing is i like to get better with you, being each other something that we cant really explain it.... but their something about you, like a signature from you that cant really spell it out....

i dont really hope much but, if the chance are..... i would take it really seriously i would to be able to talk to you without any past presence blocking us..... n_o 

oxoxoxoxnight bloggerxoxoxox 

5 minute before sleep

hai blog, lama tidak tulis ni.... biasalah dengan kehidupan yang serba kekurangan , kerana itulah baru update2 n_n

now? holiday 3 week, ehe..... nice...... time too rest a bit....

well life is go on like everyday,

em well not like everyday anywhere.....

tidak tahu mahu update apa.....

so tell a story.....

there this one girl like me a lot.....
everyday she message me....
pendekkan cerita , jadi rapatlah kami...... n_n
then she confess to me (what!? so sweet )
but then i turn her down (why you no good !@#$%)
sebab tidak tahulah , bukan tidak boleh terima dia cuma, aku mahu relaks la
and i dont think i can afford to make her happy.... 
so we just be friend, but maybe one day, kalau kita ada jodoh
sure why not....... right.....

and the truth, know what i still have that someone i still cant forget
yes, guess you know SI ''DIA'' n_n
well dia tepati juga permintaan aku, kinda dumb suruh dia buat begitu tapi
benda sudah jadi jadi xpayah lah mahu baiki, (still want to but cant)

oklah lah time to sleep bubye blogger

P/s: i dont think i really trust girl really hard now sorry to said it.....

cerita kehidupan baru

hai blogger!

it's been a while tulis di blog ini kan, ia lah, sebab exam kan .....

habis dha exam tinggal tunggu keptusan, hanya doakan lulus semua pelajaran dipelajari.....

DALAM diam-diam dan sunyi-sunyi ini...... tanpa aku sedari, banyak dha berubah kawan aku, yang mengenali aku keluarga aku, mungkin sebab aku terlampau fokus pada satu benda iaitu belajar untuk final exam...... sehingga perubahan mendadak telah terjadi pada sekeliling aku........


dalam masa itu juga, baru aku perasan yang ''dia'', telah unfriend aku di fb..... erm....
dan aku terbaca post kau dan .......erm....... tidak tahu mahu kata apa lagi tapi aku yang suruh kau buat begitukan..... senyum selalu dan bergembira lah.......

ada sebab aku suruh kau buat sedemikian kerana untuk kebaikan kita juga, agak kesakitan di hati tidak kan berulang, aku suruh kau buat begitu agak kita mampu biasakan diri tanpa rasa tidak terluka hati, bukan kau tidak fikir seperti saya tapi aku buat keptusan ini agak jika suatu hari nanti satu dari kita mendapat orang baru sebagai pengganti, kita tidak akan merasa terluka dan perasaan lain yang negetif......

dan ia, aku jumpa orang yang mampu mengganti kau dalam hidup ini, tapi ia tetap tidak sama, dan ini kali aku tidak akan menaruh harapan sangat dalam hubungan ini takut akan terluka lagi, kerana aku telah belajar dari kesilapan aku.....

mcam mana aku bule bersama dia, terus terang aku rasa perasaan yang sama ketika aku mula2 menerima kau dalam hidup aku, sama juga seperti sekarang iaitu 0% sayang dan cinta pada seseorang itu.
jadi kenapa aku bersama dia? kan persoalannya mesti begitu kan?
jawapan nya , itulah masalah aku , aku tidak boleh menolak permintaan orang yang ingin bersama aku seperti tidak sanggup menghampakan hati seseorang itu...... dari dulu sampai sekrang..... inilah masalah aku lembut hati seperti bulu burung merpati......

aku belajar dari kesilapan ..... cinta harus berpada-pada agak tidak tersakiti.....

terima kasih kepada kau kerana memenuhi permintaan aku,.....  ingin aku tegur juga kau, kau tidak tahu tapi aku sentiasa tengok fb kau walaupun kau suda unfriend aku....

::finish 4 today::

#out blogger#

saturday,saturday

pernah kha anda rasa seperti keseorangan seperti semua orang telah melupakan dirimu.....

dibiarkan seorang diri, dan bila diperlu sahaja akan dicari,

namun andaikan anda memerlukan seseorang dalam masa ini tapi semua seperti lesap dari sunia ini....

aku tahu aku jauh dari semua kenalan ku , keluarga pun susah mahu jumpa apatah lagi seseorang itu.

tidak tahu apa dia buat mungkin dia dalam perjalanan pergi gerja kot......erm......

tapi aku harus tahu seperti dia sudah berpunya dan aku sudah terlambat.....

aku masih tidak lupakan dia...... rindu sama dia..... sering teringat di pikiran semasa bangun tido buat kerja.

harap kau sihat sahaja......

aku tidak akan ganggu kau ...... jauhi diri dari kwan-kawan yang kau kenali......

bulan 12 baru aku balik kali ini.....

well itu sahaja untuk blog ini.......

akhiri dengan doakan ''dia'',keluarga ''dia'',saya , keluarga saya,kwan-kwan saya dan yng mengenali saya moga mendapat berkat yang melimpah dan kesihatan yang baik dari TUHAN AMEN~

kesunyian dalam diri

lama tidak tulis blog ini.....

sunyi, itu sahaja aku mampu ungkapkan sekrang.......

tiada yang berada di sisi aku.....

aku ingin sms dan kol kau aku rindukan dia.....

namun seperti aku dan dia tidak akan dapat berjumpa lagi......

mungkin dia ada sudah orang yang dpat ambil berat tentang dia....

dan aku ini sudah tidak berguna dan tidak mampu bahagiakan dia.....

jujur aku memang cemburu tapi apa aku mampu buat cuma doakan dia.....

that all today nytE!

friday evening

Baru habis kerja dari pagi......

It just felt good  knowing that you getting well, maybe i dont need to worry about you anymore, but i am......

I get jealous sometime when thinking that there are someone that are so lucky to see you everyday , for me, i just cant, and if i could, i dont  have the gutS to look at you face and talking to you ......

maybe you notice that i pretend to be cool and too be like dont care infront of you all the time, but iN My mind aRE ALL THE TIME I'M THINKING ABOUT ...... GUESS WHO? YOU!

too even dare too see you it only would hurt us like ''throwing a fire in a gas tank''

but notice that i will always pray for you and you family, the least i cant do is that & stay aware from you too make sure i don't hurt you heart again and all over again....

p/s: imissyoubeHeverytimeinmymind

0ptioN it is~*

you got to choose an option.....

well, everyone does, the option that the want it, to do iT or n0t~

sometime the option we choose maybe wrong or right in 0ur life, it's depend on ourself....

and this is the option you had to do:''stay with me, or stay aware from me''

let think about it, why???

sure it will make me happy if you stay with me and i wont regret it in my intere life
BUT, if you choose to stay aware from me....... i cant do anything at all .....
but then, you must never see me,never text and call me anymore.....
and if you do see me, just act like you dont know me like a stranger in your life....?

then the question pop-up again ''WHY???"
the reason is because it the better for both of our heart and soul

yes i cant lied to my intEre life,act like i never care about you,but eventually it will pop-up again in our life
and it for the happiness of our other, right?

you dont need to tell me the answer......
just make a good option and never regret it...... never look back after this, this is maybe the last option you will make with me beh......

i support you with you option no matter what, i pray for you......
sooner or later you gonna find a good person that suitable with you life and forget about me and....

for me, i got nothing to go....... just go with the pathway of my life.....
i'm like a ''soldier in a wAR'', fighthing and sacrifice myself to protect other hapiness, because it worth me the only one get sacrifice then many people suffering ......


love is pure but full of suffering because not all will survive it, and it be lucky if you do, (appreciate if it does) 

nyte blogger all

my word is your believe

just hoping that you get well soon.....

everyday i pray for you too be happy and get well .....

this is my word  for you.....today!

maybe you will find many person who would said you pretty and said a good thing about you....

but, notice that no one will be there for you even if you hate him , that ''him'' is the one that dont care about any bad or good side of you and alway pray for you evert single second.....

will alway be there for even if you dont see him....

maybe you dont notice ''him''...... but that person is me.....

get well soon, just be okey ......

odd thing i do is because i love you even if you dont really do felt the same for me anymore beh!

love and care from me that no one cant do the same thing to you from ME

love?

love?

what does it mean anywhere?

sure love...... it's sweet .... you cant denied it in you life

someone you love....... 

it make you crazy...... 

make you happy..... felt like the world is your and you love one.....

but

you cant denied the other phrase of love .......''lovehurt''

yes, it happen sonner or later and you never know when it happen.....

how i know? because i had felt it

i felt the happiness with the one i love and lasty i been hurt really,really seriously hurt

by it..... 

does it affect me and the answer is yes.....

i had to face it everyday single single of my life argue to myself it mean to happen sooner or later

.........

now, i only cant pray for her live a happy life.....

just watching her smiling in a happy life

even if i cant never hold you tight in my arm......

pretend like i never care when i does......

lovehurt, but i dont need love , i just want you to be happy.....

pray dor you everyday behbeh<3 span="span">

1 day & few hour birtday*****

1 hari dan beberapa jam lagi hari kelahiran aku.....

tapi bukan itu yang aku mahu luahkan di blog ini, aku sudah biasa dengan hari kelahiran aku tanpa siapa-siapa peduli pun......

well, hari ini aku tidak dapat call dia mahupun sms dia kerana dia bagi pinjam kakak dia henfon dia.....

apapun, mungkin kau tidak tahu ahad ini hari jadi aku, seperti tahun lepas kau tidak tahu pun, tidak kisah lah......

baru aku tahu 10 hari aku tidak mencari kau menanya khabar kau, kau telah sakit deman 3 minggu....

ku sangka kau sihat sahaja......

aku cuma dapat doakan kau cepat sembuh.......

ahad ini, tidak tahu sama ada kita akan berjumpa juga kha......

ada sesuatu aku ingin berikan pada kau tapi kalau tidak dapat pun tidak apalah.....

rindu aku kepada kau tapi mungkin kau tidak merasa seperti apa yang aku rasa.....

biarlah, aku sudah biasa mencintai seseorang tanpa dia mempeduli isi hati aku ini......

cukuplah jika aku dpat tengok kau gembira dengan kehidupan dan sihat selalu......

aku lebih suka  menjaga orang yang aku syangi gembira dan sihat dari kepentingan diri

kerana kau lebih penting bagi semua orang......

aku relakan benda terjadi.....

mungkin belum tiba masanya aku jumpa kegembiraan dalam hati kerana bila aku gembira akan ada lebih banyak orang merana, jadi lebih baik aku seorang berkorban kebahagian untuk kebahagian banyak orang

i miss you ~* itu sahaja aku mampu ungkapkan

nyte~xoxoxo